Wednesday, 10 October 2012

How It All Began

Once upon a time, there was an only child. She met another only child, fell in love, and got married. A few years later, they said goodbye to their families and embarked on an adventure to the other side of the world. That adventure turned into a long-term stay and a few years after that a child was born and two became three.

That, in a nutshell, is the story of how my husband, our son and I became a little family unit of three. And a unit of three we are likely to remain - unless an accident happens one day! When we decided to try for a baby, I felt we were ready. We were ready in all those mundane ways like being financially stable, owning a home and being healthy, but I also felt ready in another strange kind of way. I felt mentally and emotionally ready, like this was the right time to be having a baby.

And it was. I had accomplished many of my goals, I wasn't too young and I wasn't too old, I felt ready to take on the challenge of motherhood.

When it happened, it was great. My pregnancy was straightforward, so much so I felt sorry for the student midwife who came to our visits as I'm sure she never learnt much. The birth, although an unplanned home birth, also went well and although breast feeding was a nightmare (we eventually decided to bottle feed) and the lack of sleep took some getting used to, in general nothing about the pregnancy, birth or early months should have put me off having another child.

But, I don't want one. I always thought I'd have that feeling of readiness again, but it has never happened and the older Monkey gets (he is now 4) the less inclined I am to have any more children.

Cute smiling baby

I look at pictures of newborns and think they are cute; I hug my friends' new arrivals but am quite happy to give them back. So, it looks like Monkey will be an only child.

I'm quite happy with this. I was an only child and I think I turned out okay. I love spending time with my son and he is so active and full on that I can't imagine what it would be like trying to run around after him if I was pregnant or had a small baby.

Yet, people look at as if I am slightly mad. When are you planning another they ask, looking at me askew when I say I'm not. You just get in with it when you have two they say, you'll be fine once you get started.
Well excuse me, but what if I just don't want to?

There's nothing wrong with only children and there's nothing wrong with parents who only want one child.

And so ends my first blog post. I didn't really mean to start by ranting but hey ho. I'm not saying it is all a bed of roses, what parenting journey is? Parenting an only child is fun though especially at this age, and I hope you enjoy reading about it.