Wednesday 10 October 2012

How It All Began


Once upon a time, there was an only child. She met another only child, fell in love, and got married. A few years later, they said goodbye to their families and embarked on an adventure to the other side of the world. That adventure turned into a long-term stay and a few years after that a child was born and two became three.

That, in a nutshell, is the story of how my husband, our son and I became a little family unit of three. And a unit of three we are likely to remain - unless an accident happens one day! When we decided to try for a baby, I felt we were ready. We were ready in all those mundane ways like being financially stable, owning a home and being healthy, but I also felt ready in another strange kind of way. I felt mentally and emotionally ready, like this was the right time to be having a baby.


And it was. I had accomplished many of my goals, I wasn't too young and I wasn't too old, I felt ready to take on the challenge of motherhood.

When it happened, it was great. My pregnancy was straightforward, so much so I felt sorry for the student midwife who came to our visits as I'm sure she never learnt much. The birth, although an unplanned home birth, also went well and although breast feeding was a nightmare (we eventually decided to bottle feed) and the lack of sleep took some getting used to, in general nothing about the pregnancy, birth or early months should have put me off having another child.

But, I don't want one. I always thought I'd have that feeling of readiness again, but it has never happened and the older Monkey gets (he is now 4) the less inclined I am to have any more children.

Cute smiling baby

I look at pictures of newborns and think they are cute; I hug my friends' new arrivals but am quite happy to give them back. So, it looks like Monkey will be an only child.






I'm quite happy with this. I was an only child and I think I turned out okay. I love spending time with my son and he is so active and full on that I can't imagine what it would be like trying to run around after him if I was pregnant or had a small baby.

Yet, people look at as if I am slightly mad. When are you planning another they ask, looking at me askew when I say I'm not. You just get in with it when you have two they say, you'll be fine once you get started.
Well excuse me, but what if I just don't want to?

There's nothing wrong with only children and there's nothing wrong with parents who only want one child.

And so ends my first blog post. I didn't really mean to start by ranting but hey ho. I'm not saying it is all a bed of roses, what parenting journey is? Parenting an only child is fun though especially at this age, and I hope you enjoy reading about it.




5 comments:

  1. I'm so happy there is someone else who feels this way. My pregnancy was unplanned and hellish, but people still insist my second one would be 'better'. I am completely happy with one child. I get comments all the time.. "Great things come in twos", "She would do well with a sibling", "It's selfish of you to stop at one" the list goes on.. I don't get why it's such a big deal.

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  2. YEY, yay for meeting more woman who are good with one. We have one 5 year old boy who we adore but WE are SO GOOD with one and just one. I too get the comments and most of the time I just laugh them off. Sometimes they really get to me though.

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  3. This post couldn't have come to me at a more perfect time. Over the holidays, I decided to sort out both of our storage lockers, which meant organizing bags and bags of clothes. I found the little sleepers my daughter wore when she was born made me start in on the "should we do it again?" conversation with my husband again.

    Both of us came from families with 2 children, and I always thought I would have 2. I thought that was the "right" thing to do. But now I'm not so sure. I like how things are now. The 3 of us are healthy and happy and I'm not sure I want to do it all again.

    A big part of me has been worried I'm being unfair if we don't give our child a sibling, but hearing you say that you are both only children and you are doing the same makes me feel a lot better about it. So thank you for that!

    And thanks for linking up!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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  4. I always wanted two - so did my husband. My first pregnancy was uneventful but my baby girl was SO HIGH MAINTENANCE that I didn't think I could handle another. I finally decided to try when my baby was 2 1/2 because if I didn't have one then - I was fine with having an only child. I did get pregnant and had the most difficult pregnancy - I was sick the ENTIRE 40 weeks and wanted to die! I'm so happy that my 2nd is here now - but I know that I would have been fine either way. You can only do what's right for you! People ask if we're going to "try for the boy" which makes me want to slap them. As I can barely handle my two!
    Tracy @ Momaical

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  5. Isn't it amazing that people--strangers--feel entitled to a) have and b) share an opinion on how many children you ought to have? I have three--and usually several others in tow--and I often get comments from the other end of the spectrum. Anyway--visiting from Cloudy with a Chance of Wine's Best of 2012 Blog Hop, and ever so pleased to make your acquaintance. Jane Marsh @nothingbtbook

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